In the future we'll all be gay
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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