I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
