I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
