I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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