This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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