Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize