I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
