I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
