wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
