Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
