Small penises have feelings too.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
