Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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