I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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