He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
