So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
