dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
did you just send me my own nude
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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