He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
