god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
