i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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