I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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