I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
