seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
