When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
