dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
