Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
