i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
