I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
