How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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