I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
