i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
