i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
