Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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