dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
