she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
