I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
