ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
