oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I looked at my own cervix.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
