I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He felt like a one man threesome
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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