It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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