Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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