He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
