Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
