that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
