whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
