The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
