You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
