Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
