Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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