Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
