So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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